The Ride Home

It's not even a long ride, really: some 20 odd minutes unless traffic is really bad. Actual excerpts from our ride home this evening:

Justine has started singing the alphabet song in an infinite loop, punctuated by random clapping. Somewhere around round 8, Vasco decides to ask her a question.
V: "Justine, ummm, does Cinderella....?" (I'm really not sure what he asked, but it involved Cinderella and, if, I heard right, milk...)
J: "A, B, C, D.. (louder)
V: "Juuuuuuuuuustine...."
J:"E, F, G, H... (louder, more clapping)
V: "JU-STIIIIIINE!"
J:"I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P"
Me: "Justine, please repond to your brother"
J: "Q, R, S, T, U, V..." (in the most angelic and innocent voice she can muster)

I give Vasco lots of credit for not having a fit. Justine is clearly trying to set him off...
J continues with the alphabet song, and she occasionally substitutes "Happy Birthday to You" for the chorus.

V:"We're tipping over! Mommy, mommy, we're tipping over!"
I look back to see Vasco holding on to the half-open window glass, and realize that indeed the incline, to accomodate the winding nature of the road, is quite steep, and I can understand why poor Vasco thinks we are tipping over. I assure him the car will remain standing on four wheels.

"Now I know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with me....." J continues with the alphabet song.

Vasco then asks for his car window to be closed. Daddy closes the window.
V: "NOW can you hear me, Justine???"
J: "No."
V:"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???" (the accompanying look of disbelief on his face is priceless)

I throw in a kids' cd and, by Vasco's request, "Mary Had a Little Lamb" entertains us for a few seconds, until Vasco tries to analyze the lyrics.
V:"Mommy, where is Mary going?"
Me: "To school, Vasco".
V:(looks at me like I'm insane), "No!"
Me: "She is, listen.." I proceed, rather awfully and off-key but with great emphasis and clear diction, to sing along, "It followed her to school one day..."
Vasco shows signs of grasping that indeed Mary and her lamb are off to school, and starts giggling. Follow-up question:
V: "Mommy, the lamb was standing in the car????" Quite logical, really, given that we drive everywhere, it must be the case that the lamb rode along...How else would it get there???

We FINALLY make it to the garage.

I-Pod We-Pod You-Eat

Friday night is At-Least-Attempt-to-Eat-Out-Night. It has progressively gotten better as the kids have gotten older: I suppose their attention span is longer, they are able to amuse themselves better, and I have learned to stash various distractions (stickers, pencils, random superhero dolls, loose change from various countries) in the bottomless pit which is my purse. Today, trying to spend a precious few extra moments with my margarita, I must say that I came up with a brilliant distraction: my lovely little I-Pod shuffle. It was an instant hit. Here are the kids jamming on the couch:

And, Vasco's Question of the Day (well, Question of the Evening, really):

(upon being told that it is indeed time to go to sleep, and that he needs to fall asleep all by himself in his big boy bed):

V: "But Daddy, why do you sleep with Mommy????"
Daddy: "Ummmmmmmmmmm.... Go to sleep!"
Nice work Mike!!!

Potty Mouth

First of all, I have to say that we are ALMOST THERE. Just about when I was ready to start sending emails to development specialists, Vasco USED THE POTTY. A week later, both kids are mostly accident free!!!! We are so.. relieved!! (I suppose the pun is intended :) ) What GETTING THERE has done to our sanity is a whole other story... The following phrases have been heard around our house lately:

• "Please understand that you cannot poop in your pants. Especially not in the car: it will squish!"
• "Yeah, Mr. Pee-Pee, can you make some tinkles? We're waiiiting!!! Come on, tinkle-roonies!" (Resulting stream of pee is then followed by wild applause)

All of the encouragement and wild joy has been accompanied by a googolplex (look it up: it's a real number!) of declarations that "You are SUCH a big girl/boy!"

That latter phrase has, however, started to backfire. Giddy from their new found "big kid status", the kids have been trying to discover exactly what they can do with it. Last week, out of nowhere, the request was to sit in the front of the car, like mommy and daddy. After a short story on the different degrees of "big-ness", I thought the matter had been settled. And lulled into believeing I had indeed successfuly handled this request, I was ambushed by the kids' untiring logic just this very afternoon. We were in the kitchen, and I had pulled out a jar of cashews. It went something like this:

V: "Mommy can I have some cashews?"

Me: "Sure, honey!"

V: "Put the jar on the table, mommy!"

Me: "Okay, but can you reach the cashews if I put it on the table?"

V: "See, mommy, I can reach!" (Vasco demonstrates that, indeed, he can reach)

Me: "Wow, Vasco, you are such a big boy!"

V: "So, I can ride in the front, then?"

I also what to make a public service announcement on the Never Mentioned Details of Having a Potty Trained Child or Two. There may be a sequel, but for now, I want to share the following: You are about to go on a trip, say to the Baltimore Aquarium. Kids are halfway down the stairs when you realized they haven't peed yet that morning. Kids are rounded up and sent to bathroom of choice to pee. Carefully phrased questions are posed to make sure that they also don't need to make No.2. Based on parental assessment of environment in which answer is delivered (is there a funny smell? Is there a look of extreme concentration on child's face?) , the child may or may not be returned to bathroom to "try". 20 minutes later all clothes and shoes are back on, and trip successfuly begins. Once you arrive at destination, a family trip to the bathroom is required, with child of choice, randomize for variety. Entry tickets are purchased, with an hour for lunch before entry. Arrive at food area. Bathroom stop. 18.5 minutes later, while waiting in line to buy lunch, another bathroom run requested. Lunch is consumed. Kids are in strollers. Stroll to Aquarium. Check stroller. Mommy and kids stop at family bathroom. All items in bathroom, including tissue sticking out of trash can, are touched by both kids while mommy tinkles. Vasco tinkles. Justine tinkles. Vasco washes hands. While Justine washes hands, Vasco touches garbage can and toilet seat. Hands are re-washed. Victory!!! A 5 hour outing and no accidents!

Back from the Beach!