Toys in Review: Best Toy Award goes to...

The awesome $3.75 spaghetti ball...

No assembly, instant joy. You can pretend it's hair. You can pretend to sneeze it at someone (preferrably someone you know). You can pull it, drag it, toss it, cuddle it. It knows no limits.

Shephards and Angels and Chaos and More..

Happy Holidays!

Hark the Herald Angels Siiiing....

Here's a bit of holiday cheer, V&J-style, early in the morning.

There are a few things one should perhaps note:
1) The #1 reason one should have twins is that when one child takes a break from singing to eat a mouthful of cereal, the other can, of course, finish the verse
2) The kids seem to have inherited mommy's side of the singing genes, rather than uncle George's, which is to say, well... none of us are likely to have a singing career.
3) Happy Holidays to all!!!!!

Love

Driving to a holiday party. Christmas carols are playing, and everyone is feeling jolly.

V: "I LOVE Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. And pugs."
Me: "I know, Vasco, you also love the Einsteins, right?"
V: "Yes, I LOVE Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, pugs, and the Einsteins.
Me: "And mommy and daddy?"

Silence from the back seat. A few minutes later,
V: "Mommy, I LOVE Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and pugs. And also..horses."
Me: "And how about parents, Vasco? Do you love your parents?"
V:"Hey, you tried to trick me, mommy!"

Yes. Yes, I did. But, evidently, you are already way way too smart...

Tis' the Season to...bribe.

After several days (weeks?) of endlessly explaining to Vasco and Justine that everyday they need to get dressed, go to school, bring their favored toy du jour with them in the car before we leave ("No Justine we can't go back home to get your toy!"), come home from school (despite the fact that they didn't want to go to school in the first place!), etc., last night we decided to try another method not too often found in those books written by the "experts": bribery. No more attempts at reasoning, we completely caved and started offering a trip to their favorite pizza place for lunch on Sunday if they behaved. This seemed to work well this morning as Vasco gladly shared his favorite "Bee" spoon with Justine when hers could not be found. There was no complaining when they had to get dressed or when they were told no more TV. Inevitably, things started breaking down as lunch time neared. Needless to say, empty threats of NOT going to the pizza place were not working as we were driving there, so we offered more (we should have been politicians): a trip to the bookstore (No more taxes and higher refunds for all!). Once again order was restored! Lunch went relatively well until we started to leave, and Mom and Dad quietly decided that a trip to the bookstore was a little too much for very tired 3-year-olds....3-year-olds with a good memory of promises to the bookstore. Hmm...maybe this bribery thing does have a downside...

Happy Holidays!

...will work for pizza...and books... and...

In case you haven't been able to tell, the time between posts is directly proportional to the degree of "compliance" of the kids. And yes, it's been a few days.
I must say, I have to wonder where is that entire crowd of people who readily dispensed information on how upon the kids reaching 3 years of age, we would find ourselves in a magical era of super behaved kids, sweet as cherubims, with angelic voices and puffy clouds and warm rays of sunshine.... But I digress... That entire crowd of people appear to have taken their promises of such divine life and moved to another planet altogether. Because now, when I stumble into the cafeteria at 9:03 am, lunging for my morning coffee in a desperate attempt to somehow restore normality via a massive caffeine infusion, a whole new set of people wisely nod and with a knowing smile assure me that it is 4 and a half that is the magical milestone. I'm not sure I'm going to fall for that one again...
And it is not the case that when the mood is right (or, perhaps when the moon aligns perfectly with the right leg of a centipede sitting on a rock in the shadow of a coconut tree in Fiji: who knows!?) the kids can't be angelic and fantastic. Don't get me wrong: when that moonbeam hits the centipede just right, they are funny, amusing, entertaining, loving, and full of joy. But the times in between have really really really put my patience to the test, and so far, the score is Kids 194, Patience 2.

We had a fabulous time visiting Hershey Park over the Thanksgiving holidays with Aunt Jackie, Uncle Jeff, Aunt Sue, Uncle Dave, Perri, Erin and Ella. Here are a few pictures:

I love this expression on J's face: this was during a tour of how a chocolate factory works.







Of course, a chocolate factory employs happy singing cows to make the chocolate!

In the LadyBug ride.









This one was super fast. But the boys emerged happy. Mommy might consider riding on this one, if offered a million bucks.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Is 3 the new 13?

I had seven versions of this post. I deleted them all. Bottom line: kids have been crazy. That's the best summary. Crazy rebellious. Crazy mutinous. Crazy argumentative. Crazy fighting with each other and us...We are hoping we survive. Patience... Breathe in, breathe out...

What do the experts say? I went to Parenting.com, for a promising instruction in "Dealing with Defiance":

1. Remove her

"This is the gold standard of defiance busting. When the going gets out of control, simply swoop in and physically leave the store, take her out of the sandbox, end the playdate, and head home. In order for this to work, there must be no hesitation on your part. "Don't do any cajoling, begging, or convincing," says Valerie Hedrick, a Concord, California, mom of three. "Pick her up and leave. Your child's banking on her outrageous behavior to score some points in the form of an emotional reaction from you. If there isn't one, then she gets no payoff." Just say in very clear language why you're taking action ("You didn't stop throwing sand when I told you to, so now I'm taking you out of the sandbox.") This is bottom-line, no-nonsense discipline, and it makes the most sense when used with obviously egregious behaviors.

Indeed. Done. Done, in fact, approximately 45 min ago, when V and J got into a screaming fight over who will sit on Chair A, while identical Chair B sat mere inches away. Playing time over. Result: even more massive tantrum. But perhaps it will take a few more times to sink in...

Keeping your cool is as important as consistency. "March out calmly, with an air of command," says Jennifer Ingle, a mom of two, in Conover, North Carolina. "This lets spectators know you have the situation in hand. It's much better than sputtering apologies." This attitude isn't lost on the child, who's also noting that you're the one in control. Removing her from any "audience" may quell further defiance as well.

Yes.... this one is a bit harder. Unless, of course, keeping my cool is interpreted as foaming at the mouth from frustration and wandering aimlessly around the house, looking for divine intervention...Maybe?

Let's move on, shall we?

2. Expand the consequences
The lesson that you don't forget bad behavior can pack a wallop. And having a way to punish that behavior without raining on a larger group's parade can come in handy. A mom of eight in Alaska has lots of experience with discipline, but sometimes even she has to get creative. Once, when her son was acting up at a party, she told him he'd have to miss the next party he was invited to. But first she took a photo of him in mid-naughtiness. Then, two weeks later when he was asked to another party, she brought out the picture and reminded him of why he couldn't go. This made it immediate to a child who might otherwise have relegated the episode to long-ago history. At the next birthday party he attended, he was on his best behavior. "These things happen," she says, "but mostly it happens only once or twice per child because I make sure — and they know — that they'll face the consequences later."

Okay, never done this, but I think I could give this a shot. In all fairness, it would be a useful counter to the "no, I wasn't", "no, I didn't" rebuttal that Vasco uses 10 minutes following a spectacular episode of..."naughtiness"... Will try and report back. Stay tuned.

To lighten the mood, courtesy of J: "I AM being careful. This is not dangerous, mom!!"

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Deck the Walls with...

...reddish marker la-la-la la la la la... Yes, it is so. Not only the wall, but the white bed frames. And the pillow cases. Oh, yes, and Justine's sock. I knew it was too quiet in the room. Too quiet and peaceful = collusion. Collusion occurs only in instances of wrong-doing. Hence, the new decorations.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

My witch costume had its pros and cons. Pros: my witch wig and witch hat from 1999 have survived in relatively tip-top shape. Cons: my son now calls me "witch". We were driving home tonight, and I hear "Hey, witch!" Me: "Where, honey? Does somebody have a witch decoration hung up?" V: "There!" I crank my neck to see where this fab witch decoration is, and I see nothing: V, where is it?" V: "Right there, sitting next to daddy! Hey, witch!" Lovely.

Storytime Gone Wrong

Its after 8pm. Kids have wiggled into pajamas, Vasco has emotionally recovered from his acrobatic and dramatic yet non-damaging slip and fall in the bathtub (which occurred 1.4 seconds after I said that jumping in the tub was perhaps not a good idea), and we are snuggled up on the couch, settling in for a few books before bedtime. Mostly what we do every night. Minus the tub acrobatics. So, I start reading an old favorite, "Goodnight, Moon" in my super special sleep-enticing story reading voice.
Me: "Goodnight moon, Goodnight cow jumping over the moon, goodnight light and the red balloon, goodnight bears, goodnight chairs..."
V: "mommy, chairs don't sleep...balloons don't sleep!!"
Me, continuing courageously, being caught completely unprepared to discuss this new development: "..Goodnight kittens, and goodnight mittens"..
V: "MITTENS don't sleep!!!"

I guess we may have outgrown that book..

On to the next old favorite: " Click Clack Moo".
8 pages of cow pictures later, Justine smacks her cute little finger straight down on the cow's udder and asks: "What's that?"
Me, smugly, because I know the answer to that one: "An udder. That's where the milk comes from."
J, looking up with great interest: "Where's the pee-pee?"
At that point, I did what I think is in technical appendix 9 of Chapter XII of any parenting book. I laughed until I almost (I said ALMOST!) peed myself.

And that concluded tonight's story time. I'll be preselecting my books much more carefully tomorrow. Any suggestions?

Mushy Pumpkins

I'm tempted to say that the title refers to us these days... Justine has been sick with a lovely UTI these past two days, and the stress and 2-4am walking around with Justine on our shoulders (only way she will be consoled when she has a fever until the Motrin kicks in) has, indeed, reduced us to something roughly approximating mushy pumpkins...with mold.. slightly shriveled on one side...and with an occasional colony of ants marching through victoriously... which brings me back to my point... It is October 17th, and the one year I have actually gotten ready for Halloween with plenty of time to display my skillfully carved pumpkins, it has been 81 degrees for the past week! And, yes, my pumpkins are mushy!!!! And ant-infested!

Why are these pumpkins smiling? (besides because I did such a fabulous job carving them?)




...because they escaped the fate of their larger cousin, who was cheerfully chopped up by our guest chef, Toma, to end up as tikvenik (the pumpkin, that is, not Toma!) for dessert!
The tikvenik (derived from tikva, which.. you guessed it, is pumpkin in Bulgarian) was delicious. Toma baked it from memory, but in case you want to try this at home, I rustled up some links to recipes that sound roughly right:
Pumpkin Filled Phyllo (Tikvenik)
Tikvenik – Bulgarian Sweet Pumpkin Pie
(or you may want to ask the master chef himself--I've linked up his name to his site above)

Mommy Kisses still in Fashion!

A few nights ago, Vasco comes running up to me right before going to bed and as I grab him to give him his goodnight kiss, he puckers up and goes, "Mommy, give me a big big hard kiss!" After I almost fell down laughing, I gave him a big big hard kiss and wondered how long before he is utterly disgusted with having his mommy give him big slobbery kisses...Pretty soon, I suspect..

Uncle George is Here!

Uncle George is here!

The Croaking Frog, the Elephant Candle, and Murphy the Tumbling Gorilla.

Intellectual Discussion? NIMH!

Not in My House, that is...

I've deleted the names and email addresses, but this is an actual exchange of emails:

____________________________________________________
From: My colleague
To: My boss
Subject: Votes virtually tied in latest poll in Imaginary Country

Mr. Boss,
I would personally agree that the "yes" vote on The Very Important Issue would rebound in the last few weeks before the vote (and discussed with my wife a similar hypothesis this morning), but it is really hard to back it up with substance in this extremely volatile political environment.
___________________________________________________

From: Me
To: Mike
Subject: FW: Votes virtually tied in latest poll in Imaginary Country


We clearly need to catch up on our intellectual discussions in the morning…. I'm ashamed of ourselves..
____________________________________________________

From: Mike
To: Me
Subject: Votes virtually tied in latest poll in Imaginary Country

Our morning hypothesis: Having beavers slowly gnaw our ears off is less painful then getting our kids into the car each morning.

________________________________________________________

And that just about sums up nicely what happened to any pathetic attempt at intellectual discussion :) Our debate skills are sharpening though. You try to negotiate underwear, clothing, and shoe selection with 2 three-year olds in under 7 minutes! (by the way, saving time and nerves by allowing them to wear multiple pairs of underwear and T-shirts does not count as a successful outcome!) I dare you!

A Dog And a Fair, and a Thomas Affair!

We went to visit aunt Jackie and uncle Jeff this weekend. There was much excitement and a jolly good time was had by all (I think... Right, J&J? Gaston? Maybe???) This can only be summarized by a few slideshows, I think. Enjoy!

Behold the hippo...

So, in somewhat good news, Justine has overcome her fear of hippos... It would be entirely good news unless the image of the frightening roaring hippo was not replaced with the current image, which is discussed ardently by Vasco during every car ride. Perhaps I should elaborate. We went to the zoo this weekend, and were encouraged by Justine's request to see the hippo (previous trips to zoo were accompanied by "No see the hippo? No hippo?? Mommy, no hippo at the zoo?"). So we aim to see the hippo right before we head home. The hippo was is in the outdoor area, waddling around in all his glory (by the way, these things are enormous!!!!!). As the kids were staring intently at the hippo, (warning, toilet talk) he starts doing this really weird thing with his tail, wagging it like a windshield wiper on supersonic high speed, and.... ummm ... peeing. A lot. I suppose it was an impressive sight in its own right. And it is now forever (well, hopefully not) part of our zoo experience...(V, this morning: "Excuse me, mommy?", me: "Vasco, those are very nice manners, what do you need, honey?", V:"Mommy, the hippo wagged its tail and... and... and.. peed!!!" me, "yes, honey, it did, didn't it...")

In other entirely good news, the kids are back to their happy angelic selves and totally fun to be around. Whew! They started a soccer class at pre-school this Monday. I'll try to sneak out for a few minutes next Monday morning and take some pictures.

Yipes!?!

Kids crazy. Parents tired and confused.

We have no idea what has happened these last two days, but the kids have been rebelious, defiant, whiney. The tantrums are back, "No" has been uttered 72 times in 26 minutes, and we don't know how to fix it: they are normally so sweet! So, given that we are in no position to 1) write about cute things they have done nor 2) dispense parenting advice, how about some pictures?


Very recently,







Roughly one year ago (Sept 2006):








Roughly two years ago (Sept 2005):

Is the chicken half eaten or half whole?

J (sitting in my lap while she's eating dessert after dinner): "Mommy, you didn't finish your chicken."
Me: "There was too much chicken on my plate. I ate most of it".
J: "Finish your chicken, mommy!"
Me: "I can't eat anymore, honey, I put too much on my plate"
J: "Finish your chicken, mommy!!!"
Mike, intervening: "Justine, you have some chicken left on your plate, you didn't finish yours either.."
J:"No talking!"

First Week of Pre-School

The kids started pre-school on Tuesday, and really seem to enjoy this next level of interaction with their peers and their teacher. By the second day there, it was clear that they were comfortable in their new place: Justine strutting around the classroom like the princess-queen surveying her kingdom, and Vasco repeating the rules to the "kids that are not listening, mommy!"
She ran out of the bathroom after her shower tonight, and while we were cuddling, she giggled, waved her finger in my face and said, "You should know better!" More giggling. This is a brand new phrase, and neither Mike nor I use it, so it must have come from her teacher, no doubt in response to some crazy thing she must have concocted at school. I couldn't extract any more details, though, because my immense amusement at the phrase only encouraged her to repeat it.

Overheard:
J: "See this mosquito bite on my finger??!! I need to go to the eye doctor!"
V: "That's silly! There's no doctor in pre-school!"

J:(upon taking a bite of food): "Look, I'm growing!!!!"

The Ride Home

It's not even a long ride, really: some 20 odd minutes unless traffic is really bad. Actual excerpts from our ride home this evening:

Justine has started singing the alphabet song in an infinite loop, punctuated by random clapping. Somewhere around round 8, Vasco decides to ask her a question.
V: "Justine, ummm, does Cinderella....?" (I'm really not sure what he asked, but it involved Cinderella and, if, I heard right, milk...)
J: "A, B, C, D.. (louder)
V: "Juuuuuuuuuustine...."
J:"E, F, G, H... (louder, more clapping)
V: "JU-STIIIIIINE!"
J:"I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P"
Me: "Justine, please repond to your brother"
J: "Q, R, S, T, U, V..." (in the most angelic and innocent voice she can muster)

I give Vasco lots of credit for not having a fit. Justine is clearly trying to set him off...
J continues with the alphabet song, and she occasionally substitutes "Happy Birthday to You" for the chorus.

V:"We're tipping over! Mommy, mommy, we're tipping over!"
I look back to see Vasco holding on to the half-open window glass, and realize that indeed the incline, to accomodate the winding nature of the road, is quite steep, and I can understand why poor Vasco thinks we are tipping over. I assure him the car will remain standing on four wheels.

"Now I know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with me....." J continues with the alphabet song.

Vasco then asks for his car window to be closed. Daddy closes the window.
V: "NOW can you hear me, Justine???"
J: "No."
V:"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???" (the accompanying look of disbelief on his face is priceless)

I throw in a kids' cd and, by Vasco's request, "Mary Had a Little Lamb" entertains us for a few seconds, until Vasco tries to analyze the lyrics.
V:"Mommy, where is Mary going?"
Me: "To school, Vasco".
V:(looks at me like I'm insane), "No!"
Me: "She is, listen.." I proceed, rather awfully and off-key but with great emphasis and clear diction, to sing along, "It followed her to school one day..."
Vasco shows signs of grasping that indeed Mary and her lamb are off to school, and starts giggling. Follow-up question:
V: "Mommy, the lamb was standing in the car????" Quite logical, really, given that we drive everywhere, it must be the case that the lamb rode along...How else would it get there???

We FINALLY make it to the garage.

I-Pod We-Pod You-Eat

Friday night is At-Least-Attempt-to-Eat-Out-Night. It has progressively gotten better as the kids have gotten older: I suppose their attention span is longer, they are able to amuse themselves better, and I have learned to stash various distractions (stickers, pencils, random superhero dolls, loose change from various countries) in the bottomless pit which is my purse. Today, trying to spend a precious few extra moments with my margarita, I must say that I came up with a brilliant distraction: my lovely little I-Pod shuffle. It was an instant hit. Here are the kids jamming on the couch:

And, Vasco's Question of the Day (well, Question of the Evening, really):

(upon being told that it is indeed time to go to sleep, and that he needs to fall asleep all by himself in his big boy bed):

V: "But Daddy, why do you sleep with Mommy????"
Daddy: "Ummmmmmmmmmm.... Go to sleep!"
Nice work Mike!!!

Potty Mouth

First of all, I have to say that we are ALMOST THERE. Just about when I was ready to start sending emails to development specialists, Vasco USED THE POTTY. A week later, both kids are mostly accident free!!!! We are so.. relieved!! (I suppose the pun is intended :) ) What GETTING THERE has done to our sanity is a whole other story... The following phrases have been heard around our house lately:

• "Please understand that you cannot poop in your pants. Especially not in the car: it will squish!"
• "Yeah, Mr. Pee-Pee, can you make some tinkles? We're waiiiting!!! Come on, tinkle-roonies!" (Resulting stream of pee is then followed by wild applause)

All of the encouragement and wild joy has been accompanied by a googolplex (look it up: it's a real number!) of declarations that "You are SUCH a big girl/boy!"

That latter phrase has, however, started to backfire. Giddy from their new found "big kid status", the kids have been trying to discover exactly what they can do with it. Last week, out of nowhere, the request was to sit in the front of the car, like mommy and daddy. After a short story on the different degrees of "big-ness", I thought the matter had been settled. And lulled into believeing I had indeed successfuly handled this request, I was ambushed by the kids' untiring logic just this very afternoon. We were in the kitchen, and I had pulled out a jar of cashews. It went something like this:

V: "Mommy can I have some cashews?"

Me: "Sure, honey!"

V: "Put the jar on the table, mommy!"

Me: "Okay, but can you reach the cashews if I put it on the table?"

V: "See, mommy, I can reach!" (Vasco demonstrates that, indeed, he can reach)

Me: "Wow, Vasco, you are such a big boy!"

V: "So, I can ride in the front, then?"

I also what to make a public service announcement on the Never Mentioned Details of Having a Potty Trained Child or Two. There may be a sequel, but for now, I want to share the following: You are about to go on a trip, say to the Baltimore Aquarium. Kids are halfway down the stairs when you realized they haven't peed yet that morning. Kids are rounded up and sent to bathroom of choice to pee. Carefully phrased questions are posed to make sure that they also don't need to make No.2. Based on parental assessment of environment in which answer is delivered (is there a funny smell? Is there a look of extreme concentration on child's face?) , the child may or may not be returned to bathroom to "try". 20 minutes later all clothes and shoes are back on, and trip successfuly begins. Once you arrive at destination, a family trip to the bathroom is required, with child of choice, randomize for variety. Entry tickets are purchased, with an hour for lunch before entry. Arrive at food area. Bathroom stop. 18.5 minutes later, while waiting in line to buy lunch, another bathroom run requested. Lunch is consumed. Kids are in strollers. Stroll to Aquarium. Check stroller. Mommy and kids stop at family bathroom. All items in bathroom, including tissue sticking out of trash can, are touched by both kids while mommy tinkles. Vasco tinkles. Justine tinkles. Vasco washes hands. While Justine washes hands, Vasco touches garbage can and toilet seat. Hands are re-washed. Victory!!! A 5 hour outing and no accidents!

Back from the Beach!

How to Apply Lip Gloss, by Vasco and Ella

Planets, Doggie-Counting and General "Where-Did-You-Learn-That!" Amazement

So, we're at the playground today, and Justine and Vasco are giggling while swinging on the swings (if I let them, I think they'll swing for hours!). "Bye bye mommy, we're going high up in the skyyyyy. We're going to save the planets!"
Me: "Bye bye! What planets are you going to?"
Vasco: "Mercury". (to the tune of the "Little Einsteins" episode) "Mercury is closest to the sun...."
Now don't tell me that some TV shows can't be educational!!! In fact, after seeing that episode, the little song they sing is my new method for keeping track of planetary ordering (which I review daily, of course, just in case someone asks!)
Justine was flying to Pluto. I didn't have the heart to tell her that only recently scientists demoted Pluto, and it is no longer a planet. I don't think I knew any of this stuff when I was their age!!!!

Further in the category of "I-can't-believe-they-know-these-concepts":
Justine, last week: "Hey, look at that sunset!"
Vasco, yesterday, upon coughing, "I'm OK, daddy. It just went down the wrong way."
Vasco and Justine, this past weekend: "Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco" Okay, they now know how to count in Spanish??? And people try to tell me daycare is not stimulating??? Miss Celia taught them that.

And speaking of counting, nothing helps your addition and subtraction skills like counting three very energetic pugs running in and out of our friends' Rosie and Joe's house. Justine felt it was her personal responsibility to herd them from room to room and into the yard as a group. I swear she now knows that 2 pugs in the kitchen plus 1 pug on the sofa in the living room equals 3!

Happy Birthday, Kiddos!

Sometime during the most sleep-deprived nights, sometime during the 9th daily washing of 8 Dr. Brown bottles with all their useful but numerous contraptions, sometime during the stiring of the 2000th giant pot of formula, definitely during the 347th ear-piercing loose lead on the apnea monitors, we dared wonder what life would be like when the kids were the seeming astronomically far-away age of 3!


Here's a little pictorial voyage...


Vasco, a day old

Justine, day 2 or 3, on CPAP, too small to be touched without rubber gloves

Vasco, coming home! September 23, 2004




Justine, 1st hour home! October 9, 2004 (their original due date)





First Birthday, waiting for the cake :)




First birthday, with their preemie dolls (made to scale)




Second birthday, 2006, with preemie dolls




Second birthday party



And, at their third birthday: